Calming The Beast

Today I had one of the most interesting, or should I say wonderful, experience I've ever had.

This afternoon, when I was working on my thesis on the computer as usual, I heard a car pulled over in front of our house. Soon enough the door bell rang.

I went out to find a stranger waiting in front of the gate. An old man, dark skinned and white hair (a trait of a local race that is generally known to be rough and volatile; equivalent to an orc in WarCraft), and had a grumpy look on his face. It appears he had some business with my older brother.

He said he was from a bureau (didn't say what bureau just yet), and before I could grasp the situation, he elevated to a loud tone, demanding that I pass on the message to my brother.

I could tell that this person was very pissed.
(thank God I haven't unlocked the gate).

http://whatwouldamenschdo.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/AngryMan-300x211.jpg

All I knew then, was that he had some business with my brother, and somewhere in the line, something must've gone wrong and now he's furious, and he's lashing it out on me. Not the first time I've been a dumped with anger that was addressed to someone else, I must say. I've been in this kind of situation a couple of times with my father, when I had to take the blame for something my brother did, so I was quite familiar with the scenario.

I remember saying to myself, "Oh, great. I'm being an owl again."
(a reference to Hermione when Ron and Harry were having a fight)

I must say, being the mediator of a conflict is far more tiring than being the actual person having the conflict.

And during that same time (because the mind is capable of thinking numerous things in a split second), I said to God, "Okay Holy Spirit, help me out here. I've been in this kind of problem before and frankly speaking... I'm tired of it." (the first time my dad poured out his anger on me, I was so deeply hurt, I came home and cried for several hours straight on my bedroom floor).


After that split brief prayer (sort to speak), I interjected him politely and tried to calmly assessed the situation. "I'm sorry, Sir, but... what is this about? I'm afraid I haven't fully caught up to you."

The man tried to calm his temper down to match mine, but I could see he was struggling. You could still hear the anger in his voice. He explained that he was from the bureau that helps people process their Vehicle Ownership License.

"Oooh, right! Vehicle Ownership License~~", I smiled, roughly acting our how Martin Freeman would probably have said it.

That's when I recall that my brother lost his vehicle ownership license for his car sometime ago, and now he can't extend his driver's license because of that. The first pieces of the puzzle are coming together.

Assuming that I have already complete understanding of the whole problem, the man went back to his raging state. I could see that he still had plenty of steam in side of him, so I gave him a chance to blow off.

http://www.examiner.com/images/blog/EXID21876/images/Angry-man-001.jpg

I learned from experience that sometimes you have to be the bigger man and let someone just blow off the steam before you investigate further (I think I even heard Cesar Millan mentioned that on dogs too once), and so I did just that.

I kept silent, I put on a pleasant face, and let him yell his heart out. He got so close at one point where I could smell his breath. (again, thank God I haven't unlocked the gate so I could back up a bit).

It's amazing how you can not take things personally once you've had that kind of mindset.
 
Then I remember something I've read from a booklet Mom gave me:

The next time you  face a customer who has every right to be upset, 

say something like this: "I don't blame you for feeling as you do.

If I were you, I'd feel exactly the same way. What would you like for me to do?"

...you'll be surprised at how reasonable people become when they feel someone is on their side.

So I said, "Yes sir, I understand how you feel. That's just like my brother." (indeed he is) "I'd be angry too if I were in your position. So how may I help you?"

Those words were like magic. One by one, he patiently explained the issue, and by each question, he became calmer and calmer and before long, the puzzle was complete. And what's even more amazing is that he has now calmed down completely. He even went as far as to say, "You seem like a reasonable lad. Would you please..."

We ended up having one of the most wonderful conversations and to top it all off, he once went to the same Church as I do (but he moved to another closer Church years ago). In the end, he went back into his car with a smile.

Whoa.

To think that I would have the time to recall all those videos I've watched of interviews with Richard Armitage and Martin Freeman and that one passage in the booklet Mom gave me, and the serenity to remain calm. 

 How's that for divine power!

I know how infuriating my brother can be, and even though I haven't passed on his message, I think I've already helped the old man by taking out his anger. So in that sense, I was glad I could help, and to a certain extent...

...I'm glad to have passed the test.