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Today I met my earthly father again. He clarified that what he meant 2 days ago by, "Reducing the amount of the monthly money...." was actually to not send money at all.
If our next adventure is through the road of poverty then... I'm ready.
If it isn't, then please grant me wisdom to figure out a solution.
Whichever it is, I trust You'll choose the best one for me.
From Your son whom You love so dear,
Koru
p.s: How much longer 'til my job here is done, Lord?
Hm... I would like to say that your father simply wants you and your bro back to his life cause he wants to rcover time, but this is too much. If he wants the love of his sons he should ease into it not force it. Well, not like all parents in the world are the best.
ReplyDeleteI would like to have a recommendation for you, but I have nothing that you are not already doing, so, keep it up. You have a place you can at least call a home, thats really some light on that tunnel.
I also would like to tell you to actually make peace with your father, but I don't think youll do it considering all that is happening. It is really sad that families are torn apart like that, he should at least try to understand you and your borther's situation, but he seems lik he doesn't even try.
Maybe some space is what you need. Maybe hell catch the hint if you and your brother start pulling him away. Maybe not. But that seems like the best thing to do.
You'll be ok, don't worry. I wish you the best of lucks. Any work you can start with, even if it seems little, remember two things, one, it helps you build up the stair to you goals even if just a little, some experience might come handy later, second, it gives money, wish I consider a wothless need, but a need in the end, a little money can at least help you keep your home strong, try to ask your bro for some help on it also.
Hm... I think I want to show you a video. IDK, it have an effect on me that makes me forget all my problems. All the emotions it fires on me makes me feel greatly inside. And it helps me relax.
Deletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSL9JCcg1zw
You'll understand when you watch it and hopefully it will make you feel like I do whenever I watch it. Also, the BG music have the same effect, hear it, the music + the video makes perfect match.
I also recommend everybody a great shower or bath. Not simply water, soap, soap, clean, out. Enjoy the feeling of the water and just concentrate on it an every sillyness your mind wants to think about, like what to draw next, or what would you like to watch on TV later and forget everything, it helps me a lot when I am stressed, sad or simply have troubles.
Regarding the things you said about my earthly father, I could only say, "EXACTLY!! I couldn't have said it better myself!"
DeleteI'm trying my best to make peace with him, honest. It's just that everytime time I meet him (or receive a text) he manages to create a whole new chaos.
I hope I'll be okay too, after all God is with me and I'm trying everything in my power to keep this house standing. Until I get replies from my job applications, I'll be doing commissions and, praise the Lord, things are starting quite positively.
Thanks again for your words of comfort and suggestions. I appreciate it.
p.s: Yes! I actually do that regularly during my bath time :] Like you said, it helps relieve stress.