I like hanging out with close friends. I don't need to pretend to be someone I'm not. I could simply be myself. I could share and talk with them about all the geeky subjects I like without worrying that I'll be labelled as weird or obnoxious.
Well the Bible tells us that God is our best-est friend. The most loyal and faithful companion. Your BFF (best-friends-forever).
"I [Lord Jesus] no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you." -John 15:15
Then I thought to myself, "If God is my best friend. Surely I could tell him also about my dirtiest and darkest secrets." Then it dawned on me that I have never actually shared a secret just between me and God.
One day, as I was browsing the internet on my computer, I came across a picture that triggered me to sin. But instead of shoving God out the room and locking the doors of my mind like I usually do, I pulled a seat invited God to sit beside me and look at it.
That's when I told God everything. I dissected every little detail about the picture; how it looked, what parts of it that I liked, and why I liked it so much. I even told Him about all the variations of those kinds of picture that I favor. I also told Him where I could easily find pictures like that, along with the lists of artists I know who drew those kinds of pictures. I showed God my filthy collection that I've collected over the years and where I kept it.
It felt weird talking about something like that with God, but it was almost like talking God into liking it. I was like a kid talking about how cool Superman is to a DC comic book geek.
After I had finished explaining every last bit of it, I sat there silent. Have you ever come clean to an almighty, all-powerful, all-holy being without a drop of sin? It wasn't easy. I couldn't believe that I had just shared that with God. Honestly, I thought I could be lightning struck at any moment.
But instead of a lightning bolt or a smite, it was as if I heard a voice in my heart saying,
"You know... This is the first time you have ever talked to Me about it. And I do love you."
"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death." - Romans 8:1-3
I didn't understood what had happened exactly. All I knew was that God wasn't mad at me, even after all I have told him. "Is this... okay then?", I asked myself. Because I didn't felt any instant deliverance or miraculous transformation immediately afterwards. I was still drawn to that particular sin and I was still losing the battle. But something did change the next time...
At another time, I bumped into a similar picture like that over the internet. Then I remembered that sharing session with God, and suddenly I felt like I didn't have to pretend anymore. I didn't need to cover anything up, or shove God out of the room. "Why should I? God knows about this issue already. And it's not just because He knows everything, but because I have personally told Him about it. And He did not condemn me." That's when I realized something had change. Since it wasn't such a secret anymore, sinning didn't felt that appealing. It had lost it flavor and it just didn't seem that much of a deal now.
That's when I felt God entered the room again (which is never locked now), and say:
"Son, from now on I will fight your battles."
"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." - Exodus 14:14
That's when I finally understood. What I did was still not right. It was still a sin. But God did not expect me to fight the battle alone. When I sat down and confessed everything to God, I was giving Him room to work. Slowly He took and killed the very motivation to sin.
Nowadays I just confess any issue that comes up immediately. Whenever I discover a new sin that needs to be dealt with, I took the time to sit down for a few moments and talk it over to God. Doesn't necessarily mean that I could immediately handle it the next time, but it does shed a great deal of burden. Then again, isn't it that what God wanted from us all along? An honest relationship? Without any charade. Just tell Him the truth. He can handle it.
I also finally understood what the Bible mean by, "confessing your sins". It is not justifying your bad deeds or shoving God out of the problem and calling Him back only when you need Him. Instead, it's simply opening yourself up before God, and presenting your sins as what it is (a sin), and even though you're not proud of it, you acknowledged it that it happened. You're simply uncovering every bit of cloth covering your deeds for God to see, gunk and all.
So tell me...
How close is your relationship with God?
Have you ever shared your deepest and darkest secrets with God?
Have you ever told God about your kinks or even fetishes?
Have you ever involved God in your struggle with your sinful desires?
Why not give God the keys to even the darkest and filthiest room of your heart? It's not like there's much you could do on your own anyway. So why not give God a chance? You might just experience something amazing.
"Jesus straightened up and asked her [prostitute], “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” - John 8:10-11
"What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?" - Romans 8:31-35
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