Merry Christmas 2013

"Happy Birthday, Daddy!"

 

Sharing Your Dirty Secrets with God

Have you ever shared a secret with your best friend? Do you remember the immense relief you felt once you've shared it with someone you can trust? It's just like sharing a load you had to bear alone for a long time.

I like hanging out with close friends. I don't need to pretend to be someone I'm not. I could simply be myself. I could share and talk with them about all the geeky subjects I like without worrying that I'll be labelled as weird or obnoxious.

Well the Bible tells us that God is our best-est friend. The most loyal and faithful companion. Your BFF (best-friends-forever).


"I [Lord Jesus] no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you." -John 15:15


Then I thought to myself, "If God is my best friend. Surely I could tell him also about my dirtiest and darkest secrets." Then it dawned on me that I have never actually shared a secret just between me and God.

One day, as I was browsing the internet on my computer, I came across a picture that triggered me to sin. But instead of shoving God out the room and locking the doors of my mind like I usually do, I pulled a seat invited God to sit beside me and look at it.

That's when I told God everything. I dissected every little detail about the picture; how it looked, what parts of it that I liked, and why I liked it so much. I even told Him about all the variations of those kinds of picture that I favor. I also told Him where I could easily find pictures like that, along with the lists of artists I know who drew those kinds of pictures. I showed God my filthy collection that I've collected over the years and where I kept it.

It felt weird talking about something like that with God, but it was almost like talking God into liking it. I was like a kid talking about how cool Superman is to a DC comic book geek.

After I had finished explaining every last bit of it, I sat there silent. Have you ever come clean to an almighty, all-powerful, all-holy being without a drop of sin? It wasn't easy. I couldn't believe that I had just shared that with God. Honestly, I thought I could be lightning struck at any moment.

But instead of a lightning bolt or a smite, it was as if I heard a voice in my heart saying,

"You know... This is the first time you have ever talked to Me about it. And I do love you."

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death." - Romans 8:1-3


I didn't understood what had happened exactly. All I knew was that God wasn't mad at me, even after all I have told him. "Is this... okay then?", I asked myself. Because I didn't felt any instant deliverance or miraculous transformation immediately afterwards. I was still drawn to that particular sin and I was still losing the battle. But something did change the next time...

At another time, I bumped into a similar picture like that over the internet. Then I remembered that sharing session with God, and suddenly I felt like I didn't have to pretend anymore. I didn't need to cover anything up, or shove God out of the room. "Why should I? God knows about this issue already. And it's not just because He knows everything, but because I have personally told Him about it. And He did not condemn me." That's when I realized something had change. Since it wasn't such a secret anymore, sinning didn't felt that appealing. It had lost it flavor and it just didn't seem that much of a deal now.

 That's when I felt God entered the room again (which is never locked now), and say:

 "Son, from now on I will fight your battles."

"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." - Exodus 14:14

That's when I finally understood. What I did was still not right. It was still a sin. But God did not expect me to fight the battle alone. When I sat down and confessed everything to God, I was giving Him room to work. Slowly He took and killed the very motivation to sin.

Nowadays I just confess any issue that comes up immediately. Whenever I discover a new sin that needs to be dealt with, I took the time to sit down for a few moments and talk it over to God. Doesn't necessarily mean that I could immediately handle it the next time, but it does shed a great deal of burden. Then again, isn't it that what God wanted from us all along? An honest relationship? Without any charade. Just tell Him the truth. He can handle it.

I also finally understood what the Bible mean by, "confessing your sins". It is not justifying your bad deeds or shoving God out of the problem and calling Him back only when you need Him. Instead, it's simply opening yourself up before God, and presenting your sins as what it is (a sin), and even though you're not proud of it, you acknowledged it that it happened. You're simply uncovering every bit of cloth covering your deeds for God to see, gunk and all.

So tell me...
How close is your relationship with God?

Have you ever shared your deepest and darkest secrets with God?
Have you ever told God about your kinks or even fetishes?
Have you ever involved God in your struggle with your sinful desires?

Why not give God the keys to even the darkest and filthiest room of your heart? It's not like there's much you could do on your own anyway. So why not give God a chance? You might just experience something amazing.


"Jesus straightened up and asked her [prostitute], “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
 
“No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” - John 8:10-11



"What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?" - Romans 8:31-35

 

DLJ05 - 23rd Birthday

My dear Lord Jesus,

Today is my 23rd birthday. Thank You for celebrating it with me.

So much has happened during this last year; so many tests and trials, so many tears and lonely nights. We've gone quite a long way down the road of poverty, haven't we? Thank You  so much for always being there beside me.

Father, the only thing I want more anything is to long to be with You. If it is in Your will, I wish for this birthday to also be my last. But my life is ultimately Yours, so do with it as You see best.

From your Son,
with a big hug and a kiss on the cheek,
-Koru

p.s: Please be gentle with me, Father. My heart is wounded.

DLJ04 - Teach Me

http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2011/041/f/c/the_artist__s_touch_by_ajohns95616-d398h9h.jpg

Dear Lord Jesus,

It's been about a month after I started Xypress Illustrations and I want to thank you for blessing me with clients. So far all of them are kind, friendly, cooperative, and some of them even very generous. My slots have never been empty ever since I opened. Thank you so much for keeping my cup overflowing.

But even though I've made twice as much compared to the fresh graduates, it's still not enough to pay the entire house's expenses. Not to mention unexpected maintenance of the house and the car.

I think I work too slow. I can't keep up with the amount of order. Even with "perfect" clients, who pay on time and ask so little of me, I can't seem to finish them as quickly as I want to. If I could finish the orders faster then perhaps I could get more orders.  

Other artists draws a masterpiece in just several hours. Why does it take me days?
... Sometimes even weeks. What am I doing wrong, Father?

I already work on weekends, I've cut expenses, I've eaten less, I sleep less, I don't play video games anymore, and I don't even watch TV anymore.

I'm running out of ideas, Father.

Please teach me. I simply can't do this by myself.
 

Your dearly beloved son,
-Koru

p.s.: How's Mom doing? Is she well? Does she ask about me?
 

DLJ03 - ...I'm ready

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxSxS799w6FfhWrdyzZ_Frpf5JO-ix6f2VwjBk3ZA-GqgA-HK1ih2oqoa4AL6e4Hri4njYvI8hfVi7z6wJ8zcX-uRpZ9Kn6WcNNwj1A71oA11-WUSP9Ied-l1bMoEsZPhuopCtbZ93nnI/s320/empty+envelope.jpg

Dear Lord Jesus,

Today I met my earthly father again. He clarified that what he meant 2 days ago by, "Reducing the amount of the monthly money...." was actually to not send money at all.


If our next adventure is through the road of poverty then... I'm ready.

If it isn't, then please grant me wisdom to figure out a solution.

Whichever it is, I trust You'll choose the best one for me.

From Your son whom You love so dear,
Koru 

 p.s: How much longer 'til my job here is done, Lord?

DLJ02 - I Passed!

My dear Lord Jesus,
I finished my last examination in college today. 


Thank You so much, not only for allowing me to pass, but to pass with a very good score [A+]. Thank You also for allowing all my close friends to pass too, giving us the chance to graduate together as a group.


One of my friends shed a lot of tears after she heard that she passed. It was very climatic of You to save her name for the very last moment, especially after all the bitter words the lecturers said to her. I'm sure she's completely jubilant right now. It was a very bumpy road for all of us... but thank You for always being there for us.


I apologize for all the complaints I said during the whole process, and thank You for listening to each and every one of them.


Again, thank You so much.
I look forward toward our next adventure together.


With big bear-hugs 
from Your son,


Koru  

p.s: Could You please pass on the news to Mom for me, Lord? We started this project together and I'm sure she would be delighted to know the outcome. Thank You C:
 

Just a note to say...

 

Dear Lord Jesus,

Happy Birthday! Even though it isn't the same date as Your actual earthly birthday, the thought still counts right? xD


Anyway...
Is there anything You would like for Your birthday, my Lord?
 
Since so many people seem to be preoccupied with themselves, I thought I'd take the time to ask You myself. I'm sorry that I cannot give/do anything worth of value since You're all set (and since I have no idea how to send it to You in the first place, ha ha ha).

Kidding aside, if there's anything You want from me, Lord,
just let me know. :]


Much love, hugs, and kisses
from Your adopted son,

Koru

~ Amen~

p.s: remind me again if I don't respond the first time C: Oh! And say hi to Mom for me. Thank You~